So.... the world doesn't revolve around you!

I get this a lot with bigger groups. They have it stuck in their mind that a) I am solely there to serve them and them alone.. not the 5 other tables that I have and/or the other 10 people at their table b) we should all get our food at EXACTLY the same time .... sure if I have a procession of waiters which don't c) the is NO reason that tip should be added... yes... yes there is.
One this last point, I will elaborate. Bigger parties are more effort, require more time and energy plus coordination (well, yes me physically but also drinks, courses.. etc.). And do you know that more often then not, a bigger table leaves a smaller tip than a smaller table. Adding a tip onto a larger party should ensure that your server gives you the best service (talking about myself here,I understand that not everyone will give you good service). As server, I know that my effort and hard work will not be taken or granted. So, please.. don't argue about tip being added. The math has already been done for you!

Any who.... As I said earlier, bigger groups (not all but some) think that they are just as easy to handle as smaller ones are. Here are some of the jewels that I have had to deal with in the past.

"I don't take cream in my coffee."
"OK, I'll just leave it on the table in case anyone else needs it."
Here I get the evil eye.
"I.. don't .... take...cream... in... my...coffee."
I look at her, move the cream to the other side and walk away.


"I can't believe you are charging me extra for extra stuff!"
"It's listed on the menu as being an extra, so I have to charge you for it."
"Well, I am NOT paying for it." Then slams the item on my counter. No joke.


"Can I get you something to drink?"
"Yes, I would like diet Snapple."
"We do not offer Snapple, would you like (list of other drinks)"
Sets the menu down.
"I only drink diet Snapple."
Then looks at me as if I am to suddenly remember that I do in fact carry diet Snapple and/or will somehow produce said beverage. This scenario has happened numerous times with different beverages.


Party of 3 walks in.
"Here is your table."
"I would like to sit over there."
Points to a smaller table that will only seat two.
"We usually only use that one for parties of two. With three there, it would be a little crowded."
The outcome is one of two.
1) Pouts. (seriously?) "OK, I guess this will do."
2) They are convinced that they will not enjoy themselves unless that sea over there.Pan to me seating them at a smaller table...usually wit them being crowded around it looking like they had to sit at the kids table.

Why does it matter where you sit in a restaurant? Most have areas that are made up to help even out the number of people to waitress ratio. In our case, we go by what will be more useful. Such as, not seating a huge party next to a small one, not having everyone sit in the same side of the room, etc.

Candid Camera.. are you there?

So, sometimes I find myself asking.. "Am I on Candid Camera?"
There was a similar show on MTV called "Boiling Points" where you earn money if you deal with someone long enough to not get upset. There was once a restaurant scenario where the patron would order something and the waitress would either tell them "Why would you order that? Nobody orders that." or takes the menu and scribbles out the item "Oh, we don't offer that anymore." I would ace that show. Cause that show is based on ACTUAL experience. It happens ALL THE TIME. But I'm not the waitress in this scene. I'm the baffled patron.
For instance, we offer one of our items in a variety of ways. The options allow you to have it cold or warm, which I think is nice..anywho. I'm taking orders and one of the ladies looks and at me and says
"So, I can this item cold or warm?"

"Yes."

Tilts head and stares at me with a look that tells me that I just grew two heads right in front of her.

"Why would you eat it warm? That's disgusting!"

When someone says something like this, I usually try to opt for the nicer answer, not the one that had popped into my head.

"Well, it's nice to have an option."

(All while thinking secretly, because there are more people than just you in the world and you don't have to order it, as my second head nods along.)

Just 'cause you can be rude, doesn't mean you should...

Just a brief rant. We all have our bad days. PLEASE..PLease....Please.... don't take it out on the person serving you or waiting on you. It's not my fault that someone cut you off, we don't offer the particular drink that you want (forget the fact that we never offered it) or you didn't get that coveted parking space (oh, yes.. totally been blamed for that..). I have no idea where people get the idea that it is socially acceptable to be rude or mean to someone just because YOU have had a bad day. If someone wants to shed some light on why this is OK... let me know :). You know this whole blog thing is very therapeutic. AAhhhhhh!

"Oh, that's right... I read minds!"

As a someone who works in the customer service industry, you will find that not only are you supposed to do your job but you are also supposed to read minds. That's right people, psychics are in!

"You were our waitress last time. What was that great drink you recommended?"

"Do you remember what was in it? A specific flavor? Color?"

"No. But I think it had watermelon, cinnamon and something else. Oh, you know which one it was. I came in with a huge party once about a year ago and it was one of the ones you served."

"OK, well, we have a watermelon and a cinnamon drink but no together. Do you remember anything about the name of the drink?"

"All I remember is that is was really good. Something with dark in the name."

"Dark_______, _________dark?"

" Wait, it was the coffee!"

"Coffee? The drink that has neither watermelon or cinnamon and is no named _______ dark or Dark ________."

"See I knew you'd remember!"

@--------------------------@---------------------@-----------------------@---------------

"Miss, this isn't what I ordered."

Looks at ticket book. "What did you order?"

"Last time I came, I ordered the same thing but it came out on a thing, with all this stuff. This is smaller."

"That would be the full meal. You ordered the half meal. Would you like me to get you the fuller meal?"

"No. (Sigh). This will be fine. I really wanted the thing with all the stuff ,the sparklers and the ribbon display but I ordered the cheaper item. (Sigh) This will be fine. Next time, please bring out something else completely different than what I order than I'll be happy."

"Whats the soup?"

If you have ever been in the customer service business, you may have already gotten why I am calling my blog "What's the soup?"

I try to make a good first impression when walking up to a table. You know what they say (who..m ? ever these people are), "You don't get a second chance to make a first impression." I believe this to be true about myself but also about my customers.

Back to the soup.

Walk up to a table and before I can as how they are doing, "What's the soup?"

Part of me wants to respond with "Excellent! Thanks so much for asking! I'm great, how are you?"

When I worked at a drive up coffee shop, we were prompted to ask how the customer was doing to leave them with a positive experience instead of just "what do you want?"

"Hi! Welcome to.."

"I'll take a double small mocha, nonfat with whip cream. Make sure it's nonfat!"

And there goes the car.... "Excellent! Thanks so much for asking! I'm great, how are you?"

The Great Fork Incident of 2008

I love my job. Sometimes I have to remind myself of this fact but I do genuinely Love my job.

That being said, we are going to call this the "Great Fork Incident of 2008".

I have some special customers. They want to be waited on, talked to, hugged, have you remember their personal preferences like the fact that like their salad dressing to be ranch or that they prefer their sandwich to not touch the other food neighbors. Sure. I like remembering peoples preferences. It's like remembering key points of a conversation. It's important that customers know that you are paying attention. The more you come in, the easier it is for me to remember what you prefer.

Anyway. Meal is ordered, drink is fine. I go and check on my other couple of tables.

"Miss? Can I get another fork? This one doesn't pick up the salad." Shows me how the fork is incapable of doing the job. Stab. Stab. No lettuce on fork.

"Sure, I'll go get you another one."

Go to the silverware drawer and pick out a different fork.

"Give this one a whirl." Drop off the fork and make another round to my other tables.

"Miss? This one isn't working either." Stab. Stab.

Take the fork, nod that I understand and go grab three other forks. All are simliar but with a different tine. I show the different forks to the customers. After what seems like 3 minutes, all the time I'm scanning the room making sure I don't have other pressing needs like a spoon that doesn't pick up soup... they make their decision.

"You know, I think I'll use the one I have."

- Kids, I couldn't have made this up if I tried.

And this is how I started my morning....

So, I had unlocked the front door to set out one of our signs. We still weren't "open" for another 15 minutes but I fiqured I'll keep it unlocked but not turn on the open sign. Go in the back, help in the kitchen, get my stuff done.

*RING, RING*

"I think someone came in"

I look at the clock. Ok, no big deal, 2 minutes. Head up front.

"Hello Ladies. How are you doing?"

"Oh, we just came into browse. We noticed you're not open yet."

- You noticed we weren't open but came in anyway?

"Well, I just need to flip the open sign. Feel free to look around. Let me know if you need any help."

After flipping the sign, I turn to find them entering the restaurant.

"Were you wanting to have lunch wth us today?"

"Yes. We can sit anywhere, right? You don't look like you're going to be busy."

- So, you rationalize that we aren't going to busy based on the fact that YOU are the first ones in the restaurant and YOU don't see anyone else there yet. YOU came in before we were open but yet we aren't busy yet? I give up. I know nothing.

"Well, I do have a few reservations. You are welcome to sit here, here or here."

"Well, how about here?" (Points to one of the tables I didn't point out)

"I have that one reserved at the moment. All the other ones are available."

"Well, I didn't know we needed a reservation."

"They get busy later."

- Thank you for finally saying somethng customer #2

"Well, I guess that'll be fine."

I walk to grab menus and show them to the table. I seat them, tell them to get comfortable and let them know I'll be right back. Upon coming back, they have relocated themselves at another table, leaving the menus on the first one.

"Oh, ok. I'll just move these over here."

"Sorry, we just don't want to sit there."

- Inward sigh. That's all I can do is inward sigh.

Everything goes normally up until I bring their food.

"Oh, Where is that thing? You know..(motions with her hands to describe a fixture we bring out when you order a special item on our menu)"

- I get this a lot. The fixture only comes out with a special ordered menu item. Therefore, if you don't not order this item, no fixture.

"Well, that is for when you order our SOMI . You ordered the lighter version so it comes out on just the single plates."

"Oh, well..ok. I guess we'll eat light today."
- Inward sigh

So, yeah...

Hullo Outside World...



So, I've been threatening to do this for a while. Nothing drastic, just create a forum for my daily thoughts and a release for all of the crazy things that just have me scratching my head on a daily basis.

Little background. I work in customer service. Now, this is not one of those blogs (at least not at the moment :) ) that I berate and belittle people. I think with each incident I'm going to change some of the details because in the end, it's about the situaton and not for gossip. I am going to use this blog for what we'll call a character study.

Having worked in customer service for .... geez... forever, I have come across some interesting people. Some days I walk home on a cloud thinking, "Gee, what a great day". Other days, it's "That's it, quitting tomorrow." On those days I can't tell you how many times I have seriously looked at the back door and thought, "How long until they realize I'm gone or If I huddle up into the corner will they all go away?"

So, that' s the start. Hopefully I'll remember some of the good stories (and believe me, there are some doozies) and get to write down the dailies as they come. More Later