So.... the world doesn't revolve around you!

I get this a lot with bigger groups. They have it stuck in their mind that a) I am solely there to serve them and them alone.. not the 5 other tables that I have and/or the other 10 people at their table b) we should all get our food at EXACTLY the same time .... sure if I have a procession of waiters which don't c) the is NO reason that tip should be added... yes... yes there is.
One this last point, I will elaborate. Bigger parties are more effort, require more time and energy plus coordination (well, yes me physically but also drinks, courses.. etc.). And do you know that more often then not, a bigger table leaves a smaller tip than a smaller table. Adding a tip onto a larger party should ensure that your server gives you the best service (talking about myself here,I understand that not everyone will give you good service). As server, I know that my effort and hard work will not be taken or granted. So, please.. don't argue about tip being added. The math has already been done for you!

Any who.... As I said earlier, bigger groups (not all but some) think that they are just as easy to handle as smaller ones are. Here are some of the jewels that I have had to deal with in the past.

"I don't take cream in my coffee."
"OK, I'll just leave it on the table in case anyone else needs it."
Here I get the evil eye.
"I.. don't .... take...cream... in... my...coffee."
I look at her, move the cream to the other side and walk away.


"I can't believe you are charging me extra for extra stuff!"
"It's listed on the menu as being an extra, so I have to charge you for it."
"Well, I am NOT paying for it." Then slams the item on my counter. No joke.


"Can I get you something to drink?"
"Yes, I would like diet Snapple."
"We do not offer Snapple, would you like (list of other drinks)"
Sets the menu down.
"I only drink diet Snapple."
Then looks at me as if I am to suddenly remember that I do in fact carry diet Snapple and/or will somehow produce said beverage. This scenario has happened numerous times with different beverages.


Party of 3 walks in.
"Here is your table."
"I would like to sit over there."
Points to a smaller table that will only seat two.
"We usually only use that one for parties of two. With three there, it would be a little crowded."
The outcome is one of two.
1) Pouts. (seriously?) "OK, I guess this will do."
2) They are convinced that they will not enjoy themselves unless that sea over there.Pan to me seating them at a smaller table...usually wit them being crowded around it looking like they had to sit at the kids table.

Why does it matter where you sit in a restaurant? Most have areas that are made up to help even out the number of people to waitress ratio. In our case, we go by what will be more useful. Such as, not seating a huge party next to a small one, not having everyone sit in the same side of the room, etc.

Candid Camera.. are you there?

So, sometimes I find myself asking.. "Am I on Candid Camera?"
There was a similar show on MTV called "Boiling Points" where you earn money if you deal with someone long enough to not get upset. There was once a restaurant scenario where the patron would order something and the waitress would either tell them "Why would you order that? Nobody orders that." or takes the menu and scribbles out the item "Oh, we don't offer that anymore." I would ace that show. Cause that show is based on ACTUAL experience. It happens ALL THE TIME. But I'm not the waitress in this scene. I'm the baffled patron.
For instance, we offer one of our items in a variety of ways. The options allow you to have it cold or warm, which I think is nice..anywho. I'm taking orders and one of the ladies looks and at me and says
"So, I can this item cold or warm?"

"Yes."

Tilts head and stares at me with a look that tells me that I just grew two heads right in front of her.

"Why would you eat it warm? That's disgusting!"

When someone says something like this, I usually try to opt for the nicer answer, not the one that had popped into my head.

"Well, it's nice to have an option."

(All while thinking secretly, because there are more people than just you in the world and you don't have to order it, as my second head nods along.)

Just 'cause you can be rude, doesn't mean you should...

Just a brief rant. We all have our bad days. PLEASE..PLease....Please.... don't take it out on the person serving you or waiting on you. It's not my fault that someone cut you off, we don't offer the particular drink that you want (forget the fact that we never offered it) or you didn't get that coveted parking space (oh, yes.. totally been blamed for that..). I have no idea where people get the idea that it is socially acceptable to be rude or mean to someone just because YOU have had a bad day. If someone wants to shed some light on why this is OK... let me know :). You know this whole blog thing is very therapeutic. AAhhhhhh!

"Oh, that's right... I read minds!"

As a someone who works in the customer service industry, you will find that not only are you supposed to do your job but you are also supposed to read minds. That's right people, psychics are in!

"You were our waitress last time. What was that great drink you recommended?"

"Do you remember what was in it? A specific flavor? Color?"

"No. But I think it had watermelon, cinnamon and something else. Oh, you know which one it was. I came in with a huge party once about a year ago and it was one of the ones you served."

"OK, well, we have a watermelon and a cinnamon drink but no together. Do you remember anything about the name of the drink?"

"All I remember is that is was really good. Something with dark in the name."

"Dark_______, _________dark?"

" Wait, it was the coffee!"

"Coffee? The drink that has neither watermelon or cinnamon and is no named _______ dark or Dark ________."

"See I knew you'd remember!"

@--------------------------@---------------------@-----------------------@---------------

"Miss, this isn't what I ordered."

Looks at ticket book. "What did you order?"

"Last time I came, I ordered the same thing but it came out on a thing, with all this stuff. This is smaller."

"That would be the full meal. You ordered the half meal. Would you like me to get you the fuller meal?"

"No. (Sigh). This will be fine. I really wanted the thing with all the stuff ,the sparklers and the ribbon display but I ordered the cheaper item. (Sigh) This will be fine. Next time, please bring out something else completely different than what I order than I'll be happy."